Friday, December 17, 2010

'twas a week before Christmas ....

Albert wrote
Right on, then, MaryPat,

We have a full compliment with our animal companions, Jayne Mansfield from Pen Argyl, Lorna, Connie and the horse she rode in on from Utah, and the inimitable Ms. Daft.

All things bein' set, we should have the kegs stowed handily - they'll be deck cargo as usual - and sail from 'ere Suday after church.  Ice Wine?  'ow d'ee chrush they grapes if they be frozen?

Albert of Anvower Mill
You got me wondering about the lovely Jayne Albert, and I found a couple of websites of interest &

The Duchess asks for a lift

Dear Connie:
May I take you up on your offer of a lift?   Need to get there fast as I'm the cook on the James Bond Inflatable Zodiac Commando Boat and Albert has sent me the directions  and I'm just not a good navigator.  To join the crew, we have to follow the Schulkill River and find Manatawney Creek to Riverfront Park.  Hope I've got that right.  You seem to be coming on your horse and his poor little hooves would get tired going across the Atlantic and why not pick me up and come on Albert's boat.  You can help me with the washing up!

We may get lost on the way, so we'll ask Unvirtuous Lady Lorna for the parrots' cell number and they can fly over and with their bird's eyes view could set us back on track.
Best wishes, Duchess Daft
Connie's horse got REALLY tired!
(Here's some possibilities Connie!)

and Connie replies
Ok, I'll have to pick you up today as I'm off to my son's for the weekend and have to miss some of the party. I'll bring my GPS so we shouldn't have any trouble finding our way if we can figure out how to use it!!!! As for helping washing up I had my fill of that when I worked in the hospital kitchen. That's why I have dish water hands. Have you packed your party dress for the Flora day dance? I am hoping to stop at one of those hatmakers who design hats for Ascot. See you soon. Connie

The Duchess's mind starts to wander as she shivers on Pike's Peak, waiting for Connie and Bow

Dear Connie:
I'm wrapped up in blankets sitting on top of Pike's Peak and think I can see a horse galloping in the distance.  What is your horse's name?   I hear John Travolta flew a 747 to Australia recently, so perhaps you could have him pick you up at your son's house on his way back and bring you on to Helston.
If he can stay, I'm sure HSE MaryPat and Lady Lorna will want to dance with him, unless Mistress Agnes sees him first!   Anyway, be sure you tell us about your flight.  Albert, I'll be reporting in as cook very soon.
Shivering wishes from Duchess Daft sitting on top of a mountain.
Here's John, at your service ma'am!

Brrr!  Pike's Peak, Colorado - hope you don't have to wait too long Duchess Daft!

The Lady Lorna waits forlornly ... or not so forlornly?????

The Swedish chef from India

On Top of Old Calgary Tower 

Well, here I am sitting on top of the Calgary Tower waiting for Sunday morning -- well not right on top because there is a flame that would burn my beautiful party clothes. My purple sequinned jeans are looking a bit bare in places, but the white Cowboy Hat with the glittering band of diamonds surrounding it is O.K. and the huge ruby is still in place on the front of the band - it glows, you will be able to see it all the way from Pennsylvania! The white satin shirt is rumpled from last year when ... er, never mind and the white leather Cowboy Boots are holding up well with a few emeralds and sapphires still in place on the heels.  I am sitting here musing about what to wear for the Grand Ball -
maybe something in lace and feathers... Feathers?... better not mention feathers in front of the parrots, poor little red featherless things. Maybe I can find some white feathers (not red) - is anyone bringing a white goose?
There go the RCMP in their black, red and white cars, they wave up at me and I wave back. I think I will bring a couple with me.  I am trying to get the Calgary Tower Restaurant cook with the Swedish accent to make a gigantic trifle that will withstand the rocket trip to Helston. He is arguing. He always does, but since I can't understand him it doesn't matter.  I am also wondering  whether Geoff the Magnificent from Down Under will wear his old moth-eaten knitted Siwash Sweater, it gets worse-looking  every year... (Does the one pictured look better?  You could give it to him as a Christmas present.)
Lorn Lady Lorna waiting on the Tower reminiscing about her Virtual Virtuous Past.
Whoops! Here come the Mounties again, gotta get one...or two!

Connie canters in
I see you Duchess,
Pike's Peak looks different from when I was there in Oct. There was a little snow but the day was clear and we could see forever. It wasn't to cold either. Anyway Bow, the horse, and I are here now jump on and we'll be off to meet Albert in now time, Hold on! I wish I could go with you on Albert's boat but to fly with John T would be great and I'm sure he wouldn't turn down a chance to join in our party.

Catherine makes contact

Dandy (aka the beast of Ryedale) has finally returned from his expedition to the frozen wilds having excavated the Nunnington Wyrm from his deep and (relatively) cosy snowdrift so the cats and I now have transport and can't wait to head south to the semi-tropical climes of Cornwall.  Have loaded the Wyrm with malt whisky, christmas cake and Wensleydale cheese and a case containing party clothes - a fine scarlet silk farthingale gown and damask petticoats - and am travelling well wrapped in silver fox furs and a elkskin travelling rug.  Oh and the tuba is also on board.  I have read the Wyrm a firm lecture on local maidens (Impermissibilty of devouring them!) and we are taking off shortly.  Dandy insists we stop off en route to pick up his friend the beast of Bodmin  so we may be slightly delayed - Anakin and Mister don't really like other cats that much and Delilah's ghost just wants to renew her acquaintance with Cornish mice!
See you soon

MaryPat and her Facebook friends come to the aid of the leaking JB Zodiac Inflatable Commander Boat
The leak is fixed. I had to chew some gum for sure. I asked my FaceBook friends for their help; they all chewed this morning and I went around and collected all of their contributions. I forgot a bag, so I stuck the gum on my tunic and just made like it was regular decorations, all different sizes and colors, some still sparkly even. I even smelled bubblicious! I added my own chewings to the bumps, lumps, clumps and wads of Wrigleys. It worked well. Traveler helped a lot, by using his nose to press some of them deep into the hole. In keeping with the leak theme, Traveler the Wonder Dog said he needed to take a leak on the fixed leak. I asked him why .... he said something about urine sealing the gum edges to the boat. Howlek hurried in from somewhere, ( Albert, your pets are very independently mobile ) and howled with laughter, reminding Traveler that he has said that before many times... just sayin'.

Now Jayne is here, lovely as always ... wait, I can't type and hold the flask at the same t....

Chris sent us a pic of Nipper the Cake Monster - thanks Chris - dare we ask for a pic of Tuck, the Blue Bear humper??

No sooner said - than done! As Chris says, butter wouldn't melt in his mouth!

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